The Struggle, The Frustration, The Training Challenges. Embracing the Journey? This is a Down Side.

This is my Journey into the World of Ironman. It's my journal/documentation of the ups and downs of what it takes to be an age-group athlete training for an Ironman triathlon. This is more of a way for me to remember what I am doing over the course of the training season, as any Ironman Athlete can tell you, sometimes the days can blur into one training day of swim, bike, run after another. So, while some may not find this at all interesting, those that wonder...could I do an Ironman? Do I have what it takes to do an Ironman? I give you a peek into my journey and days to complete my next Ironman.  Forgive any misspelled words/awkward sounding sentences. I'm pretty happy just to get them down on paper. Consider it a test of your mental skills to figure out what I'm saying. Hope you enjoy reading my journey.

Venting, Food for Thought, Hashing out what's going on with my journey.....


I wish I could figure this out.  It's my most challenging year to date with racing. I booked myself for 3- 70.3's and a full 140.6.  The year has started out rough, and had slowly been getting better. But then just when it seems to be back on track, it goes down the tubes again.  I had hoped this was going to be an amazing year of training/racing/traveling. So far it's been a year of frustrations, with some good times mixed in with my racing and training.  I'm having what I consider my worst year of training, and worst year of racing so far. Trying to see the little things in the big picture that are good, but man...its been a struggle.  



For instance, I just completed Boulder 70.3. I was excited to race and excited to get a possible PR.  In the end, I was disappointed with my time. I was extremely frustrated that my Vocal Cord Dysfunction returned at the end of the race, causing more challenges.   But I was happy with my nutrition on race day. Plus, I was so happy to be among my fellow triathletes and friends, and spend time hanging out with them.  Then, I was depressed when I left and had to come back home to training alone. But, I happy to be among my "girls" back "home" in AZ and visit and celebrate with them.    I got my 'Mojo" back training while in the middle of a bike training ride, only to have a few days later, a nice setback with moderate hamstring cramps on one of my training runs. Never, have I had hamstring cramps. Never had I had ones that caused so much pain, I had to take off training, preventing me from doing my next two days of training, a short interval bike, and then my next long ride. I also got a massive nasty migraine, the vomit inducing one that leaves me cowering on the floor wishing to die. That hasn't happened in years.  I had no meds with me, and I could barely make it from the bed to the bathroom to throw up.  Luckily after sleeping the entire day away, I managed to get to the store in the PM to get what I needed.  And here I sit on that day, still feeling incredibly nauseous, headachy. I barely got one meal of food in my stomach in over 24 hours, as I'm still pretty queasy, shaky.  And feeling guilty for not training.  

I've also had to add and change up some medications for some issues that have been bothering me. I've been told that will mess with my system and I need to be patient and adjust accordingly.  I'm feeling like I'm taking three steps back for every one step forward.  

I'm looking to see what this is doing for me. I wonder...is it time to give my body a break from all this?  What can I do differently?  What do I need to do?  What can I learn from this?  How can I embrace what is happening and use to be better?  I feel slightly guilty for feeling bad, because I know I have an amazing life, I have great friends, and family, I am blessed to do the things I love, and somehow I'm not feeling very grateful about it.  This is my struggle I think.  I am usually positive, I love helping inspire others, and encourage them to go after what they want.  And here I sit.  Luckily lately if I can get my butt out of bed with injuries, and migraines, etc. and feeling down right sorry for myself.  Is this supposed to be part of the struggle?  I can't even claim fatigue and training, as I feel as if I've missed so many workouts this year, it's ridiculous. 

I'm trying to embrace this journey.  It's been a really rough one so far on so many levels. I'm looking at all these challenges and I am trying to use them to help push me through when it counts. When I'm on the course for my racing, I'll use how I struggled through these moments to push me to not give up or back down.  it's really hard to see that big picture right now.  

And now, I have no desire to write anymore. So I'm going to sign off.  Maybe post, maybe not.  ugh.....