This is my Journey into the World of Ironman. It's my journal/documentation of the ups and downs of what it takes to be an age-group athlete training for an Ironman triathlon.. This is more of a way for me to remember what I am doing over the course of the training season, as any Ironman Athlete can tell you, sometimes the days can blur into one training day of swim, bike, run after another. So, while some may not find this at all interesting, those that wonder...could I do an Ironman? Do I have what it takes to do an Ironman? I give you a peek into my journey and days to complete my next Ironman. Forgive any misspelled words/awkward sounding sentences. I'm pretty happy just to get them down on paper. Consider it a test of your mental skills to figure out what I'm saying. Hope you enjoy reading my journey. I'll see you at the Finishline!!!!
Current Training Totals:
Swim 97,031 yds 39:08 hr/min
Bike 1742.40 Miles 128:40 hr/min
Run 423.71 Miles 90:57 hr/min
Other/ 31:45 hr/min
Strength
Overall Training Time: 290:30 hr/min
Race Day: Boulder Ironman 2015
I want to start off by saying if you haven't read my Post from my race report from Boulder Ironman 2014 : Swim, Bike, DNF????? from 8/11/14. You may have a bit of trouble following all the "FLASHBACK" comments. Plus it can give you a deeper insight into the emotions that I was feeling and going through. Of course, I know I write a book when I do these race reports, so its not a short read, but it's a interesting comparison if you have the time. I hope you Enjoy My Journey. And thank you for reading.
RACE DAY
I lay here in bed, my alarm has just gone off a few minutes ago, playing the Eye of the Tiger. I'm turning on the lights. I'm just relaxing for a few minutes before I get up and get moving. I'm doing my Ironman today. The day I've been training for, for almost two years now. I count my time from my first one, since I had my DNF last year in Boulder. I'm going to cross that finish line today. I don't care what time it takes me, I will be an Ironman X 3 today. I cycle through moments of fear, and nerves, what if I can't do it again? what if I fail? Can I come back again to try and redeem myself? Part of me says, no, I won't do it again if I fail. That scares me. Then I think, no, I've Got This. I've trained the best I've ever trained. I've felt the strongest I have ever felt. Even with my shoulder injury causing me to not swim for 63 days. Even with my hip/SI joint acting up. I've got this. I can do this.
I Feel Strong. I Feel Ready. I've Got This.
Those last three sentences, that was the switch. I went from feeling nervous, to feeling focused, on a mission, and ready. I got up and greeted the day. It's go time. But first....I had to clean up Bailey's present to me.
Rewind to the Night before the Race:
It's been an interesting night before the race. I was very quiet with my teammates. I got teary at times due to nerves and fear and had to leave the room several times. And then well, it was bed time. I was in bed by 9:30 PM. I sort of rested, you never get a good night rest the night before a race like this, it's impossible, as you are to nervous and excited. I had another experience to add to it. This was my first time I had my dogs with me. Bless Bailey and Kahlua, they have been really good with traveling the past 10 months. But tonight was the fun exception. Bailey got sick on his food. Not just kinda sick. Like vomit sick, and diarrhea sick. I woke to some awesome sounds and smells this AM. Guess he was finding a way to distract me. Back to race morning.....
So, my wake up began with cleaning up dog vomit and dog poop. Which only made me nervous for my coach who would be checking on him when I was out racing. I encourage her to not feed him anything, and apologized up front, because was pretty darn sure he was not going to survive in the crate for very long without an issue.
I got Bailey all cleaned up, and the floor. And I went out to have breakfast and get my nutrition ready to go. One thing I noticed. My Base Aminos/Rocket Fuel didn't freeze over night. It was nice and cold, but not frozen. Hmmm... I'll have to ask Matt on that one. Then I got my kit on and used the restroom.
I just happen to check the Facebook page. It was official: A Non-wetsuit Swim. I was going to have to start in the back of the pack. While I had a moment of fear, I was also able to just let it go. I had mentally prepared myself that it was going to happen. So that I wasn't to freaked out about it. I would still have 17 hours, no matter where I started in the swim, It just wasn't going to be a nice smooth swim as I had had last year. Ok, that was that. Time to move on. It was done.
Mike and I took a pre-race photo. I put the dogs in their crates, said a little prayer to the dog Gods, and off Jillian took us to T2 to drop off our transition bags.
It was dark. Just like last year, I was having a lot of flashbacks from last year, and my nerves were starting to get the better of me again. I could tell Mike was a little nervous too, mainly about what to do with the swim. He trained so hard, but was expecting a wetsuit swim. I offered some words of support, but I knew it was a mental battle for him, he needed time to think, so I gave him some space. We dropped off our nutrition and other items for our Run bags, and then walked over to the Special Needs Bags, where I dropped of my Bike and Run Special Needs. Mike luckily at that time , met up with his Swim Coach, and she I think eased a lot of his fears. I stayed pretty quiet, Again, I was feeling like it was deju from last year. I'd been here before. I never got to see my special needs bag. I didn't finish, nerves kicked in again. We all walked to the buses and lined up. Tracy was doing a great job with calming Mike's nerves, with her words of encouragement. I only wish I had her as a coach for improving my swim.
We got on the bus. I sat down next to Mike, making sure he was okay with sitting next to me vs. Tracey for any final swim words of encouragement. And we headed off to the Rez. As we drove, I checked out the weather, just like last year. I took a screen shot of the weather, just like last year. The forecast was the same. Just like last year. As we drove, I could feel my nerves escalating, "Oh Shit' Oh Shit Oh Shit" was all I could think in my head. Then as we pulled into the Rez and I looked up out the window and saw the sunlight starting to rise over the skyline, turning the sky from black to a dusky blue. Just like last year. I said a prayer. I didn't realize I said it out loud until I heard Mike send me a few words of encouragement. "Oh Dear God, Please don't let me DNF again." I can't remember what he said, something to the effect of , "no, you won't", but I was on the verge of tears now, my eyes welling up. I'm so glad it was still dark. It was pretty intense moment for me.
This is how I spent most of my race, I would have "flashbacks" of when I was at the exact same moment from last year. I'd essentially do a "comparison" check from last year to this year, to see if I was going to possibly DNF again, always a little on edge. This was by far the most mentally challenging for me. And it made it a bit difficult to just relax and enjoy the race for the amazing event that it was.
The buses drove up to the drop off point, and we got off. We started walking to the entrance to get to the race site. It was my turn to get focused, and get some alone time. As we got though the gate, I think it was here that I gave Mike a big hug. Wished him luck, and I slipped off into my own world. I walked over to the Bike Gear Bag drop off, and added my last few things, my sunglasses, my garmin heart rate strap, nutrition. Then I stopped of at the bathroom for potty break #1. I was hydrated, My Rocket Fuel was going in. Then I headed over to my bike, and my neighbor had a bike pump, who let me borrow it. Too bad I couldn't get it to fully work, so her helper, held it on the tire, while I pumped it up to 110. Then I put my Rocket Fuel/nutrition on my bike, and filled my water bottle, checkout to make sure my Base Salts were full, took a picture. and then I headed over to use the restroom one more time. We had gotten there around 5:15/5:30, so there wasn't much time to panic, it was more methodological. Just going through the motions, bike gear bag, bathroom, bike and nutrition setup, bathroom, wetsuit, get in line.
After I got my bike ready to go, I headed back for bathroom break #2, Rocket fuel was going through me. And then I ran into Jillian. I had my phone, and gave it to her for safe keeping. I had my wetsuit ready to put on, and just had to drop off my morning clothes bag. I got some good words of encouragement from her, and I headed off. Only to hear, it was 15 min to go time. I was running behind. But maybe not. Maybe I needed no time to think, I just had to go and do.
I walked up the hill to where I needed to drop off my Morning clothes bag, I pulled out my wetsuit, threw on my tri slide, and began to put my wetsuit on. Then I grabbed a Chia Bar, swig of water, goggles, and my Boulder IM Swim Cap. I started this tradition of wearing two caps. I had my cap from last year, then my goggles, then my cap from this year. I dropped off my bag in my numbered area. Then I headed off to get in line for the swim........
SWIM
I walked up and over the hill in line for the wetsuit line up. I wasn't quite sure where to place myself, as it seemed to be a bit of a free for all. I was hoping they would of put time cards up like for the non wetsuit. But they didn't so I kept walking up to the front until I felt like I was in the front half to 1/3 of the group. I finished putting on the rest of my wetsuit. I had a girl help zip me up, and then I heard the National Anthem play. Then BOOM...the gun went off. The day was starting. Deep Breathe, This is what it all came down to. It was go time.
The line moved rather swiftly, more so than I remember last year. The non wetsuit swimmers went first at 6:25. There was a supposed five min wait for us to go, but honestly I don't recall that happening, I was walking under the arch of the swim start right at 6:30 AM. Goggles on. It's game time.
The swim has been one of my worst events in my opinion. I consider myself average. I tend to roll in around the 1:35 ish mark. I'm not fast, I'm just consistent. But today, I felt strong. I didn't have time to panic. I took a moment to look up and take a deep breath to take in the moment, and then I walked across the timing mat, hit my Garmin watch and walked into the water.
The water felt good, It didn't feel to warm in my wetsuit. And As I stated to walk in the water and find my space, I had a small moment of "oh Shit" then "I've Got This" and then I smoothly glided into the water and started swimming. It started out similar to last year, there was no panic. I anticipated that I was going to get beat up a bit, and feel like I was in a mass swim start. And I wasn't disappointed. I got swam on top of pretty quick, I recovered, and kept swimming. I think that beginning was the roughest Ironman swim start to date. I got elbows a good 4-5 times in the first 1000yds, I had people swim over me, I had people grab my calf and pull me backwards to attempt to pull them forward, I got breast stroke kicked in the gut, several times, I would go breath for air to my left and a guy scooped a handful of water right in my mouth causing me to choke and I had to stop swimming and cough for a few seconds. I couldn't do more, otherwise I would lose what little clear swimming area I had. I also had the "Clydesdales swim over me. I can't lie that I'd come on some as well. But, what I remember most about the swim, is even when I had those moments of chaos and had to regroup. I didn't panic and I found myself quickly getting back into my swim "groove" and kept going. I felt really bad for the athletes not in wet suits, because they got quickly taken over by the wetsuit swimmers, and seriously got a bit lost in the shuffle. I knew if I had not gone with a wetsuit, I probably would of drowned in that madness.
I had the same joys of last year where I had to pee again while I was swimming, and while I had success at peeing while I swam at the Boulder 70.3, I couldn't relax enough to do it. I would get close, and then, nope. I only stopped two times to try, then I just said the hell with it, the sooner I got to land the quicker I could pee. And I would relax to ease the pain, hoping with some luck I would go, but I wasn't stopping if I couldn't go. This also is where it got pretty painful because that's when the breast stroke guy would find me, and kick me in the stomach. Ouch!!!
I felt like I sighted pretty well, I ended up going on the inside of the buoys on the way out, and hitting them, the most difficult challenge was trying to sight the buoy, only to find out I was sighting the paddle board lifeguard. I wonder if it was planned that they match there jacket to the buoy color Yellow on the way out, Orange on the way in. It was a bit challenging. Which I way I think I was on the inside a lot. My garmin seems to show I swam pretty straight.
On the way in, I kept sighing the lifeguards, to the right ,not the buoys to the left.
One of the athletes family did a drone video. I stole a few shots from it!
Flashback Moment: Coming in on the home stretch, I did my "check". Last year at this time, I was starting to get nausea, I wanted to throw up. I was getting motion sick from the "waves" from the jet ski. This was happening again here, but I didn't feel nauseous. YES!! Chalk one up to the ear plugs I was wearing. I will now always make that a priority.
I started getting closer to the swim finish, but I didn't realize it with my ear plugs in. I would go to take a breath, and hear some guy yelling. I thought it was the lifeguards, yelling to get us over. Then, finally I saw the swim finish arch, and then realized, it was the announcer calling everyone in. Mike Rielly was supposed to call us in on this race. For some unknown reason, he had to pull out. While it isn't the same, the guy who replaced him still did a really good job.
Soon, the arch was getting closer, and closer, and closer. I swam up until my fingertips touched the bottom. Then I stood up and I had no dizziness, no loss of balance, and I walked out of the water, and headed up the ramp. Swim Done. 1:33: 56. I was happy with the time. Especially having 63 days off from swimming. I had a big smile for the camera, and I was on to T1.
T1
I ran over to the wetsuit strippers, I ran past all the ones at the front and went for a free stripper in the back. It went very smoothly, she knew what she was doing. Then I was up and heading toward my transition bag. I walked down my aisle, I somehow hit my watch wrong and had to stop it other wise I was starting the bike. SO my time was off. What ever, I didn't let it phase me. I grabbed my bag and walked around to the changing tent. I walked in and found a seat, right across from where I was last year. (FLASHBACK-- I remember sitting there last year, feeling sick. The swim made me super nausea.) This time, I felt good, no nausea. I emptied out my bag, got to work drying off my feet, putting on my socks, shoes, helmet. heart rate strap. Sunglasses. I stuffed the things I needed in the back of my tri top. My two uncrustables, Clif Bar, Chia Bar. Then I had a moment of debate on if I should take my arm coolers, I hadn't really practiced with them, so that should of been my first sign to leave them. But I just couldn't decide. So as the gal helped pack up my wetsuit in the bag, I stuffed them in my other back pocket. Better safe than sorry. I then was ready to go. I did something different this year, I saw a post from someone who recently did a race, and copied her. I made a little thank you card, and put in it an envelope with a 10$ gift card for Starbucks for the volunteer who helped me. I handed it off to her as I headed out of T1. I needed all the Good Karma I could get. But I hope it made her day.
I ran out and got lathered up with sun block, then finally... Was able to go to the bathroom. I think I peed out at least 2 liters. Just when I thought I couldn't go any more, I kept going. Finally, I headed out to my bike. I ran around the corner, and into the bike area, I found my row and started running, I heard someone holler out my name. Got to my bike before someone did, so I grabbed it off the rack and then headed out under the arch, up the hill, past the timing mat on the ground, got off to the side, on my bike. And started pedaling. I was on to the second leg of my race. The one that broke me last year. I've Got This.
BIKE
Off I went on the bike, following the plan. I had a long way to go. I was to just spin out easy on the bike to get my legs under me for the first 5-10 miles, It was a small false flat, that if you didn't watch out, you could burn yourself out quickly and lose energy. So I took my time riding out of the Rez, down the road, and onto Jay Road. Nice and Easy, take your time, don't push, you have a long way to go. That song was in my head. A had a two loop course, then another third loop, the one that took me down last year, I had a long way to go. That song kept playing in my head, anytime I felt like speeding up, "Long way to go." So I settled in, and let whoever wanted to pass me, pass me. I kept the speed conservative, and by the time I hit the stoplight, I was ready to have some fun with the hills, I took the speed, and while the coach wanted me to coast, I still pedaled and used the speed to get me up the next hill with little effort. Before I knew it, I was turning down Neva Road, this had a really fun down hill, I was enjoying it very much, as you can see from the photos...I was either saying, "WHEEEEEEEE", or "Oh Yeah!! Awesome!!" LOL.
One thing I tried to do this time, was make sure if I saw a camera, I was going to smile. I wanted to remember that I wasn't going to let this race beat me this time. And I wanted to show it with my photos. It became automatic. I felt good going around the corners, riding the rolling hills up and down. I knew that Nelson was considered one of the tougher "hills" on the course, Really it was a false flat, and you just really needed to pace yourself. I just got in my zone, and focused on shifting to an easy gear and just pedaled. I didn't worry about my speed or time. I just pedaled. And before I knew it, I was at the end. It definitely put a little effort in my ride, but then I was rewarded with some more fun down hills, and then soon I was turning on the back side of the course. Here is where I met up with Mike. He flew by me with a quick hello, and I had thought He was actually lapping me. I though, DAMMM, he had an amazing swim!! When I asked if he was on lap two, he said," no. I had a crappy swim." And with a good luck to each other, he headed on down the road.
My goals for the bike, was to make sure I stayed on top of my nutrition, and to pee at least two times on the bike. Base Salts every 5 miles on the bike. Drink all my water before the next aid station. One bottle of Rocket Fuel every hour. eat every 30 minutes, 100 ish calories. I was sticking to my plan. I felt good. Uncrushable every 1:30 hour.
I got through the first lap and felt good. I was happy, but, I still had a long way to go. So back up Jay Rd I went again. Pacing myself on the false flat. Pedaling to the stoplight, a then, Down the hills up and over I went, Down Neva...even faster this time I think and kicking up the bike just a bit more. I don't think I got anywhere near where coach wanted me to be on my power, I kept checking and I'd be in the 90s, vs the 110 for power, but I felt good, so I focused on it. The sun was getting hot, and as I hit mile 50, I was beginning to notice, that I was feeling hot. (FLASHBACK: I starting going downhill last year at mile 40-45. It was getting hot, I couldn't keep any fluids in, my body was already starting to shut down at this point. ) I was doing okay, I was hot, but I was still taking in fluids, and eating my nutrition. But I was nervous. Something needed to change or I was going to be in trouble. And then several things happened.....
Cue The Gods #1: I came up on Aid Station 55. And Hallelujah!!! THEY HAD ICE!!!! I filled up ALL My fluids with ICE. I had the gal dump ice down the front of my bra, and the back. Ahhhhh...thank you thank you, thank you. I felt a lot better. Off I went ready for Nelson climb number two. No worries...I was good now.
Cue the Gods #2 : The clouds rolled in, and the sun was hidden. The 88 degree temp, while hot, felt much nicer. That second climb up Nelson, didn't feel so tough. And I knew at the end was another aid stating with ice!! I was HAPPY!!!!!
Cue the Gods #3: Because of the cold water, I was able to drink my fluids, and more of my Base Performance Rocket Fuel. And I was feeling strong. I took in my salt, drank. I had trouble last year with my drinks going so HOT, that I couldn't cool down.
I also had decided on whim, to not dump water on my shoulder blades exposed to the sun. I would take the water from the aid station, after I filled up my water, I'd douse my lower half and get it cool, then I'd reach behind and only squirt water on my kit. So I kept my shoulder blades from getting burnt and making me feel hot. It worked. I didn't have any issues with it, the entire ride. New thing learned for future.
I kept focused, salt every five miles, water, BP Rocket Fuel. Soon I was at the Special Needs Station. I had stopped here onto first round, and peed. Then this was round two. I got out my ICE COLD Coke that I put in a cooler with ice packs, and drank one. It tasted soooo good. It was COLD. Then I tucked the other one in my back jersey pocket for safe keeping, Just in case I needed it on the third loop with the long hills. I re-stocked my uncrustables, I grabbed some of my nutrition and stuck it in my bento box. Then I ran to the bathroom for round two of peeing. My nutrition plan was on point, I was staying hydrated. (Flashback: Mile 60 special needs of DNF year: I felt like a furnace. I couldn't get cool. I drank a hot coke. And doused my shoulder with water, and soon was hot pretty quick, I was nauseous and dizzy, I couldn't eat my uncrushable).
Off I headed on the rest of the loop. The sky was getting a bit darker, but nothing to be to concerned about. I was on the back half of the second loop, and flying. I felt good, but I was also pacing myself, But I felt faster this time around. And I actually was, when I looked at my time in after race, I was about a mph faster on the second loop, even going up Nelson. Then I was on the back half and biking back toward town. At mile 70, I was at Hygiene, I was feeling pretty fast and comfortable on my bike, I almost missed my coach there cheering for me. She got a great shot, just as a blue truck pulled in front of the camera, but if you look closely you can see my head! I don't remember the vehicle at all. But I waved and kept going. then I came into Hygiene, and had to slow down for the railroad tracks. I zipped up my bento box, because on the first round, that is where I lost my sunblock that flew up over my head and landed on the ground. I stopped and had them run it back to me as I wanted one, to not litter, and two, no burns. So with a quick stop I was on my way again.
The next aid station I stopped and once again filled up with ice in all my fluids. I did make a teenage boys day. I was standing there, and said something to the effect of...."I need a handful of ice. And I'm sure you may never get this opportunity again. I pulled open the top of my kit and bra, and said. "fill er up!" Man did that kids eye pop out of his head!! but He jumped right on the task. Then I said, I need another one in the back, to which another one jumped quickly to the task. He stood there and made a comment. "Umm..I think you just help me take something off my bucket list!" I say 'glad I could help you!!" and off I went.
Soon I was getting close to mile 75. (FLASHBACK: the downward spiral. DNF year, here is where I met Medic/Angel Dan. I had to stop, I was dizzy, I was in dire need of shade. I had to sit then lay down because I went a strange shade of pasty white. I couldn't breath, I went numb, starting at my legs, and rolling up my body to my arms, and tunnel vision. My race was almost done. I rallied after 40 minutes. And only because the Sag Van was full, and I convinced Medic Dan, I was going to keep going.) But this year, I zipped past marker 75 without any issues. I got teary eyed, I had to take a few deep breaths, and then I silently flipped off my flashback, and I flew on past that aid station and headed on up the road. Outta Here!!
Around a few more bends, and soon I was heading down Diagonal Highway, I was on my way to the finish. I had to slow down to navigate the tight turns. I don't ever remember seeing a camera here at all. But That smile on my face tells you how happy I was. I think I was talking to one of the volunteers and made him laugh.
Then, I was back on Diagonal going the other direction, knowing the biggest hills were yet to come. What also changed was the wind picked up a bit here too. But as I turned on 52, I just focused on what I needed to do. I looked up at that beast of a long hill, and just put my head down, and pedaled. I focused on cadence, on pacing, Not over doing it. I was surprised that I was again passing people on the uphill. This make me smile. At least my hill climbing is getting better. Then after a good five miles, I came up and over the top, one down. Now I got to enjoy the downhill.... a lot, like 36 mph a lot. Wheeeeee...That was fun.
Next, I turned and headed back up the next hill. This one felt a little tougher only because I got a headwind. I didn't really give myself a chance to think, Just kinda put my head down, and pedaled. The reward was at the top with snowcones, they were super yummy!! Icy cold. And then WHEEEEEE, down the hill I went. I flew down the hill, exited to see I had only 12 miles to go. But I still had a long way to go. A friend had told me that once I hit this hill I was good from here, no more hills. I was not sure I believed him, but as I rode, I realized he might be right, and I remember thinking, if this was true, then I would kiss him for it. But, alas, there was one more hill on 57th and Independence. It was a short punchy hill. (FLASHBACK: This is the hill that did me in last year. I was so hot, I was cooking on the inside, I could feel my brain cooking. that's how hot I felt. When I got to the top, I starting going numb again, I staring to go tunnel vision, I was done. I was two miles from my DNF distance from last year. where my race ended.)
This time around. I felt good. BLESS YOU CLOUDS!!! I got to the top of the hill. Saw pink cupcake jersey guy that I had been hopscotching back and forth the last chuck of the ride. I made a comment about how I like his jersey (for the cupcakes, not the pink!!) and he said, "wait til you see my run, I'm Macho Man Randy". And before I knew it, I was at the top of the hill. I felt good. I zipped down the hill and I came upon the mile where I had my DNF from last year. I once again had a pretty intense moment, shed a few tears, and then passed it like it was an old memory, and kept on going. I made a few more turns, and suddenly I realized. I was on "Fucking Jay Rd!!!!" I was on Fucking Jay Rd!!! I was almost done. I had so many dreams about how it would finally feel coming down that last stretch, and knowing I was almost done. IT. FELT. AMAZING. I seriously could only chant... "I'm on Fucking Jay Rd!!!!!". Over and over and over and over.....Then I was no longer on Jay road and I was biking down 26th street, and then Folsom. I was almost done. And then, I was at the bike dismount. (FLASHBACK: this was the horrible walk of shame last year. I was dropped off by the Sag Van and had to walk it all the way up, and hand in my timing chip.) Not this time. This time I got off my bike, I took off my shoes, and walked down the shoot towards T2. I FUCKING DID IT!!! I CONQUERED THE BEAST. I got emotional again. I had to keep my breathing under control because I was just so dam happy to break though that mental barrier that had haunted me for over a year. I felt like I had already won the race right here. That was my Dragon. I knew I could walk the run and it didn't matter, I would finish. All the emotions of the past year, of all the training of redemption, I felt it here.
T2
I walked into T2 with my bike and handed it off to a volunteer, and then I headed down the aisle to find my run gear bag. I heard a voice holler out out my name. I looked over to see Jim. A guy I rode with last year. We kept hotscotching along the course. When I got my DNF and when I posted my Blog on my Swim, Bike, DNF??? on Facebook, He contacted me. because he remembered how we went back and forth, and then he didn't see me. He gave me a great big shout out at T2. And He said something to the effect of "Heck Yeah!! You did it!!" I gave him a big smile...I think, and headed to T2.
I walked up a set of steps...ouch really? and then into the changing tent. I found a seat right by the entrance, and sat down. A volunteer, swooped in and was very efficient. She whipped open my bag, throwing everything on the ground, and said..."what do you want first?" I was feeling a little dazed here. As I remember staring and debating if I wanted my compression hose on, or just plain socks. And before I knew it, she was taking off my socks, and changing them out for new ones. I laughed and said, "ok, you win an award for doing that!!!" Then She was throwing on my shoes and I finally had to say after her third helpful, "what next?". I responded with "I just need a minute". I cracked open my Coke and took s swig. I took off my helmet, changed it out for my visor, got my race belt, fumbled with my race number. The volunteer took it from me and said, "hey, that 's my job" and got it ready for me. By this time, I decided that I would want my compression hose by the half way point, but I was just too hot to put them on now. So I stuffed them in my back pocket and put on my race belt with my Rocket Fuel, and I was ready to go. I handed her my second thank you card with a 10$ Starbucks gift card, stating "you definitely earned this with touching my feet after riding 112 miles!!" I thanked her and headed out the door, I hit up the restroom quickly as I could, then got some sunblock on and started out on my final leg of my journey. It as a surreal feeling, and I was a bit Dazed and Confused.
RUN
I was FINALLY on the RUN!!!! I came out of the T2, and headed out through the arch. Since I hadn't been here before I was a bit dazed, I almost turned right instead of left. I had to stop and look a minute to make sure I knew where I was going. Luckily some volunteers were standing there to direct me. I jogged down the path, then turned right over the bridge and then right, onto the run course. I was FINALLY on the run!! I was on the home stretch. Just 26.2 miles to go. I felt good for the most part, but I knew I still had a long way to go. I didn't really scope out to much of the run course, I knew that it was two loops, called the flux capacitor, Like Back to the Future. I knew I had to just keep moving and just pace myself. What I was acutely aware of, was this was new territory for me. I had't been here before. I had no more Flashbacks to refer too. It was kind of a scary feeling. I was in uncharted territory, and I felt a bit....lost.
I headed out down the course, the crowd support was just amazing. People were everywhere, they were loud and cheering. It felt pretty good to be here. I felt a huge relief that I was finally here. I knew I would finish come hell or high water. I just need to keep moving forward. So I ran...I ran slowly, like I was supposed to. It was a pretty hilly and curvy course, so I kinda had to pay attention the arrows on the ground, and follow the other triathletes. I knew my coach was at Aid station 2, and the Base Salt booth was there too. So that is what I focused on, just get to that Aid Station, look for the people I knew. Man, it felt like it took forever. But then as I was running, I starting hearing music, loud blaring music. My pace picked up a bit. And then I was there, it was a bit of mass chaos there, I followed the arrow and headed off to the right, and stopped off at the aid station for some ice, and water. I, think I ran into my Coach at this time who asked how I was doing, I was good for now. My leg felt good. It was tolerable, my gut however was starting to make itself know. I headed out on the first fork, running past the Base Booth, holding up my salt when asked if I needed any and stayed pretty steady, slow but steady on my run. The path was windy, I spent time trying to calculate in my head the distance for each fork out the run. For those that know how good I am at doing math in my head, This took a while. :) It actually helped pass the time. I came to the first turn around. All I could think was..."One of Three, x One of Two done" (translation- I finished the first fork of three of the flux capacitor, and still had two laps to go.) Still a long way to go. I headed back toward Aid Station Two, and as I headed back down and was getting closer, some guy in a Cowboy hat came flying by in a blur. It was Matt from Base, he hollered out my name, and went to hand me some Rocket Fuel. I waved him off, and held up my Rocket Fuel in my fuel belt, I was good to go for now. I came back through the Aid station, and one of my favorite songs was playing, Fight Song by Rachel Platten. ( my Redemption Song) I happen to be running through as the chorus was playing...."this is my fight song, take back my life song, Prove I'm alright song. My powers turned on, I'll be strong..." I do believe, I was pumping my fist in the air as I ran through, and got a lot of loud cheers from the volunteers. That lifted my spirits, because this was when the race started to get brutal.
I headed out on the "Second of Three, x Two to go" and winded my way around the path. I started to keep pace with a gal whose watch kept beeping every 30 to 1:00. I was staring to slow, I was staring to walk, I was on the verge of feeling nauseated. There were a lot of people who were run /walking. I tried to focus on running four, and walking one minute. Math...it was my five minute cycle. I finally got to the end of the second of three. Turned around and passed the timing mat and headed back. The clouds were in the sky the whole time now, so it was nice to not have the sun beating down on me. As I headed back, I saw a team betty kit in front of me. as I got closer, I saw it was Susan McNamee. I ran, or maybe walked up to her, and we chatted for a little bit, and while I was still able to run more then walk, I headed on ahead of her after a bit. I was staring to hurt. I was feeling the effects of the nausea, i was staring to have trouble. Every time I was taking in a deep breath, the end of it, I felt a wave of nausea. Every time. I was still on a 4 x 1 run/walk. And as I met up with Coach Jillian again at the aid station, I gave her my update. She encourage me to keep it going, and to pick my pace and just move. Which I did. I headed on up the hill back toward the third turn around. I was running, slowly, and ran in to my teammate Mike. We gave each other a high five, I think, gave each other some words of encouragement and headed off in opposite directions.
Ever so slowly, I started to walk. I was trying hard to not walk, but I was walking. I kept seeing athletes, carnage, on the side of the trial, throwing up. I was determined that I wouldn't throw up. But really, It was Fear. I was in a state of what I dubbed, "FEAR OF THE DNF". I was seriously afraid that if I gave in and let my self throw up. I wouldn't be able to stop, and then I wouldn't be able to finish. And I wasn't willing to risk it. I was able to walk and I was able to move forward, so that's what I focused on. I walked. I had so many thoughts in my head, trying to get me to run, The body was willing for the most part. The nausea, was not. So I walked. And I walked, and I walked. I watched the mile marker signs slowly go by. As I got closer to the other end, the crowd support, again was amazing. The signs were fun, the "attire" was a bit amusing, but I didn't have enough energy to must more then a "ufff". But I laughed on the inside.
I was in just such a zone that I heard the crowd, but I couldn't due much more then just put one foot in front of the other. I had managed at the aid stations to take in a sip of water, and then sip on Coke, that's the only thing my body seeming willing to accept. And I kept sipping every now and then on my rocket fuel, and salts. My legs were hurting now, each step was a painful step. I started dreaming about my compression hose, and how they would make my legs feel better. It took me a good 1/2 mile before I realized that I brought them with me. I had them in my back pocket!! Ha, it took me another 1/2 mile before I realized, "well, stop dummy and put them on!!" So As I was near the last 1/2 mile of the 3 of 3 loop, I found a nice ledge, and sat down to switch out my socks for my compression hose. I'm not going to lie....it took a few minutes. I'm pretty sure I was losing fine motor coordination at this time, and the struggle was real. And the volunteer that was standing near by was smiling a bit and trying not to laugh at me.
AHHHHH, Compression Heaven. That felt so much better, I got a little more pep in my steps when I got these on. And I headed on up hill and to the turn around. I was finally rallying a bit, I was able to start jogging again, It helped it was all down hill too, I'm not going to lie. And I headed on down the hill and past the sign for Second Lap. I had one lap to go!!!! Only 13 more miles and I would be an Ironman x 3!!!
Lap 2- was really more of the same, I had continued to rally up to the Aid Station Two, ran into Mike again, giving him another high five,...I think. and kept going. I also ran into Jay, who ran over to me to offer some words of encouragement. He inform me, Liz was up the opposite way, working on puking her guts out. and Jillian was just up the way at Aid station two. I found her, and told her I had a bit of a rally and was doing my best to keep myself moving, but I was in a world of hurt. As soon as I got through the Aid station the energy dropped and the nausea kicked back in. And the thought of trying to take anything in my system made me want to vomit. So, I walked, and headed off to "One of Three, x Second Loop. Mile Who the heck knows...." I also started hearing the beeping girl again. Cindy was her name, and we ended up walking/running together for a while, I was desperate to do anything to just keep moving. After the turn around and heading back toward Aid Station two.....I had to walk more, so I told her to keep going, and I walked. FEAR OF THE DNF.
I never really got negative with my thinking, I just kept saying 'I've got This, Just Move. Keep moving forward. Walk, Walk Faster." And back trying to do Math in my head. Apparently that was the best way to pass my time to distract me from the pain in my body, my legs, my feet, my gut. I was trying to figure out my finish time. If I walked 15 min miles, how long would it take me to get to the finish. Yeah, I never really figured it out. Seriously? I'm not good at math when I'm alert, let alone feeling out of it from racing. And don't ever ask me to figure out a tip, I have an app for that on my phone. Ahhh, the fun thoughts that go through your head during a race.
I got to the Aid Station 2 and headed out on loop two of three. . I'm not sure on this second one if I saw Jillian, I think she had headed off to the finish to check on Mike by this time. It was starting to getting dark. It was harder to see the trail. I came to the last corner before turning to turn right to head out to the turn around. And a volunteer was standing there, literally screaming at people, " YOU HAVE LESS THEN 6 MILES TO GO, I DON"T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!" She was full of energy and I loved it. I was looking forward to her saying that as I headed back toward her.
By this time. I'm not going to lie. I was in a world of hurt. The joys of riding my bike, and dousing my tri kit on the ride had put me in a world I've never experienced when it came to chaffing. And while its not the pretty side of Ironman, It was the really painful reality at this moment in time. Every step was getting worse by the minute. But I continued to distract myself by doing the math in my head ( ha ha ha) and moving forward. By the time I got back to the Screaming Volunteer, it was dark, I had trouble seeing the path, and I had a light, but it wasn't shining on the trial, so I had to carry it in my hand to see where I was going so I didn't trip on anything. I ended up pacing a bit with a older gentleman in his 60s, he was there supporting his friend who beat cancer. We had a good chat while walking before I had to duck off into the porta potty. Seems my body was revolting in a few ways. I was earning this Redemption race. Every step of the way. I've Got This.
Back to Aid Station 2, and on to the last leg of the race. It was dark. I couldn't see, I kept following the headlamps of other athletes. and I had to keep looking down to look for arrows when I came to a turn in the trail. I didn't want to turn the wrong way. FEAR OF THE DNF. Walk, Keep Walking, Just Walk, You've Got This, I've Got This. Five Miles to Go. Four and A Half. Then I found Jillian she was waiting for me at the last four miles. I gave her an update on how I was doing, She walked with me. I felt like I was in a dazed state. I just needed to move forward, Keep walking. She gave me an update on Mike, and the other FC team members. I remember telling her the nausea was my biggest issues, then I think I mentioned the chaffing.(ha ha), I kept walking. She talked bout how Liz and throwing up, and in her nice gentle coaching way, was basically telling me to do it, and maybe I'd feel better. FEAR OF THE DNF. I pretty much said, Nope, I'm good, i'm moving, thats all that matters to me. We came up the hill to the turn around, and I started telling her about the rental I stayed in when I was there in June. I could see it right at the turn around. I was thinking that I'd half to book that place for both races next year. I walked across the timing mat for my last turn around. And headed back down the hill for the final few miles.
They felt like FOREVER. I was walking as fast as I could. Jillian was walking just a bit faster in front of me, attempting to get me to keep moving forward, just a little bit faster. I finally said ," if I kept that pace, I wouldn't be running across the finish line". And I stopped and stretched. It's amazing how stubborn you can become when you are hurting. I knew Jillian met well. I was still able to joke with her about how I may hate her right now, but I'll appreciate it later. And then, in response, she picked up the darn pace a bit. Which I responded by... I think slowing down a bit.....
I was vaguely aware of the mile markers going by, but damm those miles felt really, really long. It's like one mile was really two miles. But, after some long, dark walking, everything some what of a blur.. Then, I had a 1/2 mile to go. Jillian made a comment about..."Anybody can run a half mile." To which my stubborn mind responded with, "yep, they probably could." and I kept walking...:)
Then suddenly, I was at the turn to the finish. Jillian left me there and headed off to the finish so she could try and catch a few photos for me. I walked up to the spot were it said "Lap Two" and "Finish" I looked at the guy, smiled in the dark, and said. "I'm going to go this way" He gave me a Congrats, good job, and I headed off toward the finish.
I walked down the dark path and still was searching for the arrows as I walked around a curve, and up a hill. And then noticed a bright light in my face. I looked up and squinted at the light, wondering "what the hell????" then it dawned on me that it was a video camera. the guy asked in a quiet voice...how are you feeling? I suddenly smiled and gave two thumbs up, and say "Great!! Considering what happen last year." Silence. Heard him ask what? And I said "Last year, I DNF'd at mile 102 on the bike, This is my Redemption Race!!!" and I turned around and sorta jogged up the path and out of the dark trees, and into the light. I started walking up the street, and people were cheering, I walked toward the entrance to the long Finishers Chute. I had people high fiving me, and yelling congrats. And then I walked into the finishers only area...and I started to jog. This was what it was all about, this was what I had been training for, for over the last two years, this was my redemption. I was going to take my time, and enjoy every last second of it.
I have a hard time putting into words (if you can believe that) of this final few moments. It was like a release. A huge weight that has sat on my shoulder since last year. I could feel it floating away as I jogged. I was finally able to relax and celebrate. I spent the entire race in the FEAR OF DNF mode, that it was hard to enjoy the race like I usually do. I had a mission, and my mission was to run across that finish line. I kinda felt like I was floating. I kinda felt like I was in a dream. Was this real?? Am I FINALLY HERE??? Did I FINALLY do it?? I ran down the street the high fiving the crowd. It started well before the coveted Ironman Finishers Chute. And I had it all to myself. It was a windy run up to the chute. Then as I came around the corner, I looked up and saw it. That beautiful stretch of red carpet into the Finishers chute. I saw the bright light that reflected the outline of the Finsher arch I would run through. I raised my hands in the air, I pumped my arms, I high five EVERYONE!! I felt Amazing!! All the pain fell away. I felt Alive!! I was HERE!!!! I tried to run slow. I kept hitting hands. The roar of the crowd felt deafening. I ran to the other side to high five people over there.
Then, it was just me. Running down the middle of the chute. Arms held high, I tipped my head back, I looked briefly up to the clock, to the sky, I closed my eyes and said to my self. I've SO FUCKING GOT THIS! FINALLY!!!!!" and I ran across that finish line. REDEMPTION Was Mine!!!
( Side Note: I picked the exact moment to close my eyes for a second to celebrate my finish, that the charms went off. 75% of my finisher's photos...my eyes are closed. I guess it goes to say, I could do this with my eyes closed! )
Slowly, I came to a stop after the arch and a volunteer walked up to me and took my arm. She say "congratulations!!' and guided me back to the area to remove my timing chip. The next gal congratulated me as she took off my chip. How do you feel. Great, I told her. Yes, I felt fantastic. this was my redemption race. She looked at me and said. "Well, then this needs to go with you, and pulled off the timing chip and handed me the velco strap it was held on that I took with me through the race. I then walked over and got my medal placed over my head. Got my finisher t shirt and cap. Volunteer, Oh, Did I want a photo? Oh hell yes I did! Please!!!! So we walked over and stood for a minute, then I walked up and stood with my Ironman Boulder backdrop and got my picture taken with my photo. it's evident looking at this photo, how spent I was looking. I kinda feel like I was high. On adrenaline, fatigue, and nausea of course. I looked pretty rough. And I NEVER FELT BETTER!!!!
I saw Mike after this and I ran over and gave him a hug. Then I walked back through the rest of the area. I found my 60 yr old guy I had been walking with, and we congratulated each other. then I found Jillian. I got a great big hug from her, and that's where I lost it. The tears came rolling. She knew how I felt, she was the one person who knew how I felt being here last year and not finishing, walking me through the race, giving me words of encouragement, helping me with my decision to come back and do it again. Helping me through training this year. Knowing exactly what to say to keep me motivated. She was able to help me see the changes form last year to this year, and how I was not going to have a repeat DNF. She was the one who was with me from the beginning to the end. I couldn't have asked for a more amazing coach to help guide me. And I was even more blessed that she took time out of her busy life, to come support me for this race, knowing how important it was for me. I got a picture of me...in the middle of crying, but I didn't care, I wanted to always remember this moment. I earned it!! Thank You Coach Jillian, I could not of done this with out all your help.
I had zero desire to eat anything, so I headed out of the athlete area, and met up with Mike. We all hung out for a bit, got a shot of Mike and I. And then the three of us with Coach Jillian in the middle. Then they headed back to get the car to come pick me up, and I headed over to get my bike and gear bags at the school. I walked back down the outside of the finisher chute, well hobbled is more like it. And I ran into my friend Jim and his girlfriend. We chatted for a bit, It was so nice to know he was keeping and eye on me, and cheering me on though the day. I then hobbled on over to the trail and looking for the track. I saw the final runner with the sweeper run under the bridge, and I shouted out words of encouragement. And walked over to the track. I walked in and showed them my number, and darn if I heard them call out my number, and then they told me to have a seat. AMAZING VOLUNTEERS!! The ran around and collected everything for me. I didn't have to walk. That alone almost made me whimper out in gratitude. I sat and chatted with some other athletes for a few minutes, then when I got my stuff, I headed out to the side of the high school and met up with Jillian in perfect timing and loaded up the car. I learned at this time...Bailey had been quarantined to the yard. I was going to be giving him a long bath when I got back. We got back to the rental. I gave Mike another big hug, I think. and dropped off my stuff. Then I carried Bailey into the bathroom, and somehow managed to get the ground to bath him in the tub. Once done, I got a long hot shower myself, and then we recapped some of the day. But I was exhausted. After we made our plan for tomorrow. I headed off to bed. My medal resting on the table beside me. I closed my eyes, and I relived the day, right up to crossing that finish line...... and I fell into the deepest sleep I have had in a long time. I was an Ironman x 3. Redemption Race Complete!!!
Swim 1:33:56
T1 11:16
Bike 7:09:36
T2 15:43
Run 6:51:25
________________
16:01:56
My New Favorite Wine, shared with a great new friend celebrating my finish!!
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