This is my Journey into my Return to Ironman - 2018. It's my journal/documentaion of the ups and downs of what it takes to be an age group athlete training for an Ironman triathlon. This is more of a way for me to remember what I am doing over the course of the training season. As any Ironman Athlete can tell you, sometimes the days can blur into one training day of swim, bike, run after another. So, while some may not find this at all interesting, those that wonder...could I do an Ironman? Do I ave what it take to do an Ironman? I give you a peek into my journey and days to compete my next Ironman at Madison, WI on Sept. 9th, 2018. Forgive any misspelled words/awkard sound sentences. I'm pretty sure I'll be happy just to get them down on the blog. Consider it a test of your mental skills to figure out what I'm saying. I hope you enjoy reading my journey.
Highlights and Race Report.... Anything is Possible. DNF Round Two.
Friday-
I rolled in Friday evening at Madison WI. Drive was uneventful except for the million amount of tolls I paid driving through Illinois. I was down to pennies by the last few.
I had a quick 20 minutes, so I decided to try and see if I could get to check in, and get some gear swag so I had it out of the way. I went the quickest ever through check in. And was back at the hotel in less than an hour. Score! I ran and got dinner, and settled in for the night. Got most of my gear organized and in ziplocks as the day was going to be proving to be a rainy one per the weather report.
Organized, now to put in my transition bag with ziplocks...
My race kit for the season.
Saturday.
I was up around 7:30ish, got in breakfast and then off to get bike gears adjusted by 9 AM. I had tweaked the derauilur to get it to work better on my Wahoo. The tech, kindly suggested that I shouldn’t do that again. He was very helpful and super kind.
I left my bike there and headed over to the Base Booth,
Base Tent, always fun to volunteer!!!!
spent the morning volunteering and peddling salt with fellow Base Teammates. Got my bike, and took it for a quick spin. All good to go. Back to the hotel for a nice nap and lunch. Then dropped off the bike for check in around 3 pm. Got a few pictures of the race venue, and checked out the water start. It’s a rolling start, self seeded with two people at a time to leave and hit the water. should be interesting.
Looking good. A nice easy swim. Or so I thought.
This bag was FULL of rain water when I got to Transition in the AM. I dumped out almost a 1/2 gallon it seemed on each side.
I then did a little big town shopping as I found out the local mall had an Athleta store. Haven’t been in one for over a year, so I popped in briefly. Snagged a few sale deals and headed back to the hotel to relax and chill by 5:30 ish. I took a hot shower, put on my race tats, dinner and bed by 10:30 ish.
Weather Report looking cold wet and rainy!
grrrrr
RACE Day
Up by 5:00, checked weather report…2-3 inches predictied. Well, shit, that isn’t good. I noted no one moving or walking to transition since it opened at 5 AM. That’s when I noticed on facebook that they had a delay due to lightening and transition was closed, buses being held, transition to close at 6:45 am vs 6:30 AM.
my only pre race photo. No phone was following me to that much rain.
Got down to the race sight at 6:10 ish. And so had everybody else, was a long line to get into the transition, and it was MUDDY!!! It was a light drizzle on the 15 min walk to the transition from my hotel. but begin to get heavier while getting into transition.
I got to my spot, noted four bikes beside me were already gone. A lot of people were not even starting the race. I dropped my bag, pulled out my swim stuff and nutrition, and covered it with a garbage bag. All of my gear was ready to pull out of the bag, per each discipline (score one for organization). Then it started to down pour.
I luckily was able to throw my running shoes into a garbage bag quickly, and put on slides, And I learned that it becomes rather hard to put on a wetsuit in the rain. (Note to self) But it did get me warmer, and it was really kinda like we got the pre-swim shower in for the pools.
Transition was closing, so I did one final check and headed out to the Swim Start at 6:45 AM. Only to learn at 7 AM, as we stood in the rain, it was delayed until 7:30 AM. And with the rolling start, I knew I still had an hour before I’d probably get in the water once it started. So…. I worked on and mastered after 45 minutes, how to stand and pee in my wetsuit. I wasn’t taking it off in a sorta potty and wasn't not going to lose my place in line.
So here was a 1 1/2 hour wait, wait, shiver, wait, shiver, wait, shiver, wait, shiver, pee? nope not relaxed enough
7:30 AM came and finally we got started, but of course I had another hour ish wait.
wait, shiver, wait shiver, pee? ….almost….nope. Wait, shiver, wait shiver…pee……..Yes!!! and ditto for the next 45 minutes.
As I stood waiting, every now and then I looked out at the water, at the waves, and saw they didn’t look bad at all and then it’d pick up and look crazy and then calm down. I watched the first swimmer come in, thinking out loud, "lucky bastard", which got everyone within hearing distance got a good laugh out of it. We all still has another good 1/2 hour before we could get in the water.
When we finally got moving to the corrals and heading down to the water, it was a pure mud fest. Where you had to hold on to the supports or risk falling in inches of thick slippery mud down the hill. I got over to the final opening, and adjusting my goggles, off I went into the warm water. It was 71 degrees but felt like heaven after standing for 1 1/2 hours in the cold shivering wind.
Got into the water. walked almost out to buoy one, water was so low. So I used this time to dive in and under the water, get relaxed, took a few strokes and immediately swallowed a mouth full of water. Re group, walk a couple steps, do it again.
Then again, then again. My heart rate kicked up a bit because I couldn’t catch my breath. Got my usual mild panic attack standard for me on my first open water swim as I don’t get the chance to practice open water. (The beaches had been closed when i got there, due to a blue green algae bloom. So I knew better than to go practice.) But i was not too worried about this panic attack as it usually goes away by the 3 buoy. This time it didn’t. The waves/swells were crazy, tossing me around, pushing me backwards, forwards, up, down. Usually I can get into a rhythm and swim with them, but it was to unpredictable . It would be briefly calm, then out of no where, a 2-4 foot wave that would throw me up , and down, and I suddenly I was now looking up at a wall of water coming back at me, where I had to hold my breath, then I’d try and catch it while the next one was crashing down on me again. By only the 6 buoy. I was mentally exhausted, I was trying hard to calm my breathing and get a rhythm. But, I was getting pushed back, just not moving. So, by the time I got to the first turn buoy. I happen to look at my watch. Well, shit, I should be finishing the swim in less than 5 minutes. And kinda knew then, that I wasn’t going to make the time cut off. But I had hope and kept going. I now had the waves coming at me from the side. Every few, crashed over my head, and I sputtered to breath every couple. I saw a raft up ahead and for the first time I wanted on it and to be done. So I swam over, grabbed on and just focused on breathing and catching my breath and calming down as the waves crashed into me at a new angle. I now can relate to my other tri friends who have had a freak out in the water. I have been lucky enough in the last 8 years to not have a major freak out. I managed through St. George 70.3 in 16 with crazy windy waves (not the bad year). I even managed through IM Mont Tremblant with big swells, being pushed away, having to swim sideways, etc. But I could get in a rhythm with those. Those waves had some predictability. Where here, it was not for me. I ended up sharing the raft with two other ladies, we all were feeling the same way. But I decided that I was at least going to finish the swim. I wasn’t going to be pulled. So off I went, focusing only on the next buoy. Finally I got to the half way point, and grabbed onto my first kayak. Then to the next buoy and my next kayak. Then to the next one with the FINAL TURN buoy and next kayak. Here was what I was hoping for, the waves were now going to help push me in, I could make up time!!! Ha…that would be a BIG NO!!!! The swells got bigger. and as I was lifted up and over, I then went down, staring up at a wall of water, and focused on not swallowing to much water as the next way crashed over me. At this point, I was all about survival mode. Screw the race, screw the time. But I would finished dammit. Another kayak, another buoy. oh, crap…here comes a full leg cramp? really? that’s new. So now I swam with my arms and kicked with one leg. Wave, pushed back out, drop, hold breath, crash, stroke/swim. Seriously? That was my last 5 buoys. When I finally, got to the last buoy, I was about 50 yds to the shore and was able to touch the ground, I stood and attempted to walk, only to get pushed back out. At this point I could only laugh, I was no longer surprised. I ran/walked across the timing mat, knowing full well I was over my swim time. 1:27 hr/min. I normally swim around 45 min. I waited for someone to take my chip, but no one did, so I kept walking, and up the pavement to the wetsuit strippers, who literally stood on the grassy area, which was deep in 6 inches of mud. They volunteered to help me get off my wetsuit, which I politely declined, Thanked them for volunteering, and saying I was done, my wetsuit would keep me warm until I got to transition. And so I walked about 400 yards or more to the transition, through 6 inches of swishy deep mud.
( Wisconsin Mud Bath anyone?)
I walked into transition and chatted with a volunteer, I asked what to do, that I was passed my swim cut off time, but no one took my chip. She said, that since they didn’t take it like they should have, I was welcome to go, and that I would be a DNF, but if I crossed the line, I’d still get my medal. I debated what to do. Said, I need a minute to decide and headed off to use the restroom. Peeled off my wetsuit finally, and got a nice chill.
I walked over to my transition spot (though the mud). And just stood. A couple young kiddos were running around with water to wash off the mud from our feet. Ironically, I managed to keep my gear bag dry and was able to pull out a semi dry towel and wrap it around me to get warm. And I stood there, looking at the sky, trying to anticipate my next move. I chatted with several people who were finished, lots of people in transition, done with the race, and bikes left in transition. Sorta happy knowing I was not a lone statistic. I looked over and saw a girl, sitting on the ground quietly crying one row over. I said a few words to her and we got talking. It was her first ever 70.3 and she missed the cut off time also. All those feelings of my first DNF in Boulder came back, and I walked over and gave her a big hug, and then sat down beside her and proceeded to chat for the next half hour. I cried a little with her, and told her of my experience. How those feelings were so normal and to just ride the wave of emotions. She was feeling pretty defeated as she said she trained the hardest for the swim. In which I told her, that is way you finished it. If she had not trained as hard as she did, she would probably have been pulled out. Her emotions were the same as I had with my first one. I ached for all the hard work that was put in and the emotions she was experiencing for the first time. I told her how this was a crazy swim, my worst in all my years of triathlon, and she couldn’t give up or use this as a comparison for races to come. While race days are always unpredictable, most swims are never this crazy. She will come back and do it again and conquer it. I know she will. I’ll even do a relay with her if she wants too. Finally, a few of the crew came through and said we had to get out of transition if we were done, and they even let us take our bikes. The one gal came I was talking to when I first walk in while I still had my timing chip. In my heart, I knew I made the better choice to stay and make a new friend (DNF Buddy) and help out a fellow struggling triathlete. So I happily handed it over. And Jess and I grabbed our stuff and headed out. We chatted some more, exchanged numbers, and parted ways at her car. I’m bummed we didn’t get a DNF photo together. I should of had her do one on her phone. I chatted with her briefly later and got the sweetest text from her. And with her permission I posted it here. I couldn’t agree 100% more with her. I think being able to sit and talk with her really helped me too. I’m really glad I got the chance to meet her. It’s always hard when you do all your races alone. But thankfully, I wasn’t, I made a new friend today. Serendipity Moment!
Here my timing chip sat at the table full of other timing chips. I was comfy back in my hotel enjoying a hot shower and and nap.
It’s funny how my preceptive is different this time around for my DNF. I felt completely devastated on my first DNF in Boulder in ’14. This is now my 2nd DNF ever in my triathlon life, and it’s my first ever DNF on a swim. And while I know I’m sad about it. I’m still really just glad I finished it. I could have given up, I wanted so Badly to give up out in the water, but I didn’t. So, that is a positive. I pushed through, when I really wanted to quit. And I didn't the best I could with the race conditions. It just wasn't enough to let me move on to the next step. I’m learning these last few months, about what is really important in life in the long run ( We will leave that topic, for another post when I’m ready) And, well, I’ll race again another day. But today, just wasn’t my day. And I’m okay with that, so I'll just let it be...
